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The Prosecution: Beth

Sometimes I'm recorded while having a meal. I’ll see myself on her social media – it’s like a jumpscare.

A close companion of a decade, she, calls herself the “creativity monarch”. It’s fun for a bit, but it weighs on our friendship.

She is an extrovert, she feels the need to document everything constantly. When we eat out, her motto is, “The camera eats first,” and takes photos with the flash on, which induces embarrassment. I don’t like it when strangers see her performing for the camera – I get vicarious awkwardness. It also frustrates me because the food gets cold.

She isn’t exactly an influencer yet, but Marielle is trying to be. She makes vlogs about city life, her daily routine, and her styling career. The material is quality, credit where it's due, but I don’t want to be dragged into it. On occasion she films me while I’m eating, or simply tagging along. I’ll see myself on her feed afterwards, and it comes like a jumpscare: I might be no makeup on, making a strange expression or photographed while eating. It feels invasive.

She also anticipates that I will to film her at inconvenient times. Sometimes I'm in conversation to another person, or we’ll just be spending time in the street. The dynamic feels like our bond has transformed into me serving as her unpaid videographer. She has the means to hire someone if she wanted professional shots. When I brought up my unease about this arrangement, she brushed it off. She’s taken me to several industry functions, which was nice, but that doesn't compensate for all the energy I spend helping her create material.

I appreciate that she has supported me with my design career, but I don’t want our friendship to become just a ledger of favours. I don’t feel she's insincere or inauthentic, but at times I feel that if the camera is out, we will start performing in a way that presents a favorable image for her channel.

Her directive is, “Alright, smile for the camera!” and record me laughing with another. It’s so silly. It's crucial her to recognize that our 10-year friendship still has boundaries. I enjoy being with her, but I also want to experience it without being recorded, altered, or posted for an audience. I am not a accessory for her Instagram.

The Defence: The Content Creator's View

I want Beth to see that the content we make together can get us a foot in the door.

I love creating videos. It’s not just a pastime; it's integral to who I am. Creating videos and sharing my life online allows me to express myself and connect with people in novel forms.

I wouldn't label myself as a professional creator yet, but it’s smart to make money from your passions. I admire people on TikTok who execute that style of casual, DIY content creation.

Content creation is my interpretation of engaging with life: observing the details, sharing them with an viewership that appreciates the art behind it. It's never my aim to make Beth uneasy. Bringing her to industry events was my way of offering access, giving her a chance to witness behind-the-scenes moments that could benefit her career in design too. That’s not leverage, it’s just being pragmatic.

I’d still take her to these events even if she refused to assist me, but I want her to see what the work we make together can get us: a foot in the door. I know not all people likes being filmed, but often spontaneity is what makes content authentic. Appearing on video from time to time is part and parcel of being my companion. I would delete anything she requested, but she hasn't made such a request yet.

I don’t expect anybody to be my private videographer, but companions help each other in minor capacities. I thought recording a short video here or there would be fun for Beth. Innovation thrives in collaboration, and having my friend around makes endeavors energetic and enjoyable. I never force her to participate in anything, and I would never intentionally embarrass her. But creating content jointly occasionally is part of how I document our shared experiences.

I cherish Beth’s friendship deeply and don’t want making videos to drive a wedge between us. I’m willing to compromise: like asking before recording, and avoiding shots that might make her self-conscious.

This is not about power, it’s about sharing my world while still considering hers. Clearly making content is not a substitute for genuine friendship: it's merely part of how I experience life and I desire her to be included in a way that’s agreeable for both of us.

Outside Perspectives: Reader Opinions

Is it right for her to stop recording herself and Beth when they are out together?

There’s nothing more excruciating than having a friend film you. I get that it's her passion, but I wouldn't ask friends come to my work. Perhaps she can find influencer friends to create content with. With the dark, looming future of technology, human connections are the only thing we have – cherish them!
A respondent, 25

If you’re doing something as a career, it's unfair to expect your friends for help every time, even if they have done it before. While she enjoys creating, that doesn't imply all those around her is willing material. She needs to respect Beth’s personal space.
Another reader, 26

Marielle might love producing videos and displaying her life publicly, but it’s not for everybody. It was kind she has assisted her friend professionally, but she needs to hear what her friend desires.
Emma, 27

It seems like you value each other, so cling to that and make sure it’s the priority in your friendship. Foster some real memories, where genuine feelings are stored, not digital scrapbooks. Even celebrities who seem to share their worlds actually have more secrecy than it appears.
Sarah, 53

She seems to be not fully engaged nor authentic when she’s with Beth – she’s working. Each appears confused as to what’s reasonable. The answer is not found in trying to alter one another, but in each setting defined limits around what is comfortable to them and determining if there is an mutually agreeable compromise.
A final view, 71

Your Turn to Be the Judge

Consider this question: is Marielle exploiting their friendship?